Halloween....its back on!!

Well todays installment is somewhat past twilight and nearer to bed-time!  Its halloween that is to blame!

For the past few years we've made a big deal out of Halloween, creating a little horror-fest of a grotto, having friends round, playing games, dressing up etc. etc.  but this year has been a toughie so decided to give it a miss especially given its a sunday which is now officially a "school night".  Did you think we'd stand a chance of getting away with that? Nope! Apparently half the village is talking and planning their trick or treat-ing route to incorporate a visit to our house and we are reliably informed that we would cause much dissapointment to all he kids in the village...talk about guilt trip!! So darling husband had torch strapped to head and was sent up to the loft to fetch all the trimmings down, so now I have a bedroom full of dusty old mucky boxes...lets hope it doesn't cause me nightmares tonight!

I've spent the evening stitching, ripping and splashing fake blood around to come up with an individual and new costume.  I tried on the costume to strategically apply the blood splatters and thought I needed some additional "slashes" in my skirt, time to enlist darling husbands help so I called him in.  Unfortunately I forgot about his "thing" with blood...he took one look at me and nearly passed out! His legs went like jelly, he turned pale and I had to send him out! Lets hope he gets used to it by sunday, and if he does keep passing out, I can lay him out with the decorations and really up our game this year with a real life corpse!

The things kids say....

Ah, the innocence of children, they say the greatest things, sometimes just utterly funny, sometimes I think their comments could rival Prime ministers speeches.

My dear 4 year old son (twin 2, youngest by a minute) has led me to the subject of this blog tonight.  It is great wisdom of any parent to know when their child needs "to go" and believe me he needed "to go" a series of dancing around the room, followed by ministry of jiggles and finally ending with holding onto his tackle so nothing can escape! Why do children avoid going to the loo???? Both my husband and I looked at him, I asked if he needed a wee, his answer, with his best angelic look on his face - "no mummy".  Following a minute or so of further grabbing, pulling and squeezing, my husband says to him - "go to the toilet, you must need to go otherwise why are you holding your tinky winky?" (yes, that's what we call it - they're 4!) his answer, was clear, precise and said with a tone that implied that both my husband and I were a little simple and under-educated

"because it's just going to fall off if I don't"

and then he rolled his eyes at us!  Hasten to say, it wasn't in any danger of falling off, and once convinced to go he could of in fact wee'd for England he was that desperate!

I asked the same child upon emerging from school today, what had he done at school and was as usual met with shrugged shoulders, a snarl and answered "nothing".  So me, being clever asked him if he'd learnt any Astro Physics today, he rather loudly answered, "I don't think so mummy, what is Astro Physics, do you know?" - to which all I could do is look embarrassed as a collection of other parents looked at me to seek the answer and mumble that no, I didn't really know what it was.  That'll be the last time I try to outsmart a 4 year old on his turf!

My two sons - school - their turf!

They do sometimes make me proud when they come out with mis-information, like the time we were shopping and I pointed to the Johnny Depp calendar and said "ooh, look who that is", son number one answered loud enough for half the mall to hear "Daddy!" whilst pointing at said calendar, a proud moment at which I smiled and nodded to other shoppers.  It's also a smiley moment that any picture they see of Robert Pattinson, they point and say, "look mummy, its your Edward, he's a vampire isn't he", I love that they are so young and innocent and totally believe Edward Cullen is real and that he is indeed a Vampire and of course that he totally belongs to Mummy!.... ah yes, my Edward!

"My" Edward

Get rich quick schemes!

So what's on my mind at the Twilight of today?....Eternal Twilight 5 of course!  I heard a rumour (vicious!) that tickets had sold out *gasp* but having looked up the  Massive Events website it seems to let you add tickets to the "shopping basket" so all is not lost! There is space! Now here lies the problem.....

One part-time income - Mortgage - Cost of living for family of 4 = Not a cat in hells chance of affording ET5+accomodation+travel expenses+beer money+spends to buy a ridiculously expensive piece of Twilight memorabilia. No need for Einstein to come up with that equation!

So now it's time for get rich quick schemes.... think, think, think!  I've contemplated bank robbery but since I got caught shop-lifting in Preston Woolworths when I was 13, by a middle aged woman posing as a shopper who was in fact security, I have been frightened into living life as a law abiding citizen (for those interested I had stolen lipstick and candles ... no I have no idea why either!).  A 2nd income would be another option,  I could get another job but I fear that my sons would possibly start calling random women on the street "mummy?" has they would soon forget me and what I look like!

Time to start thinking extreme.... can I legally sell organs on ebay?  worth a thought as nowadays is there anything you can't buy on ebay?  Go on try it, think of something random and search for it on ebay; I tried "farts" and it brought back 2,283 results, so if you ever run out of your own, no problem you can buy some on ebay...and lots with free P&P, and I bet those that don't offer it free would discount it for multiple purchases, maybe you could get burps too?!?!?  What kind of positive feedback would you give after buying "a fart"...."smelt as described, super quick delivery A****"??  I mock, but must confess, I am an obsessive ebayer, I buy, I sell, I feed-back and yes I'm one of those sad'os who will stay up 'til 3am just so I can bid in the last three seconds in an attempt to get an absolute bargain.
I couldn't resist and just had to search for human organs, I was shocked at first when 59 results were returned and at first hesitated before scrolling down to investigate further, not because I was afraid of what I would find or disgusted, but because what started as a flippant suggestion could turn out to be a possibility and I was half a step closer to raising some ET5 funds. Just maybe....

Female Human Brain

Brain for sale

Condition - Used (Female) hence low starting bid of 0.99p

£1,000,000

 

 

 

 

Check out other items for sale - will combine postage

(also available in our ebay shop  BNWOT male brain  £9.99)

However, I did investigate and fortunately there were no actual body parts for sale, just models/props/reading material.....back to the drawing board I guess!

Wagner....WTF?!

Ok, so the UK is talking about the X Factor and what talent they have this year.  Personally I think all the girls have "got it" and as for New Direction, Aiden & Matt ("The Cardle") well they definately tick all the boxes for me but what is going on with Louis and Wagner (or Var-gner - Louis!)???!!  It was beyond ridiculous last year that Jedward got through to the finals and, of course, the public vote people like that to stay in ... its funny to see the under-dogs go through and any opportunity to make Simon roll his eyes in disbelief, but at least Jedward had something.... whoa don't scream at me ... they couldn't sing, couldn't dance and in my eyes (as a thirtysomething) a pair of little twerbs who needed some lessons in manners and probably lots of time on the naughty step; but lets face it, the kids were always gonna love them and they were destined to have a career, but Wagner on the other hand ... I just can't see where, in a million years he would fit in in the entertainment world, what audience would he appeal to? Men, women ... children (god forbid)! I think not.
Well time to go off and watch the results show and see who will be sent home, lets hope that Wagner bids his final farewell today before ITV/Louis/the public build this poor old mans hopes of fame and fortune up any more.

Having said all that, I do have visions of him in a Safestyle UK or Confused.com advert *scratches head*, so maybe alls not lost for Wagner afterall....!

My first EVER blog post....

Well, here I am finally blogging! What to talk about.....

considering I normally  have far too much to say for myself I find that it has taken me so bloody long to set up this blog (I know, I know #technodiv strikes yet again!) that it is now 1am, I'm tired, the dog won't settle down and the'ol man is snoring beside me.

Those of you in the Twilight world I live in and in the UK will know it is of course ET4 weekend and whilst I'm here thinking of something remotely interesting to say, all my dear Twi-friends are partying hard at the convention....now not only tired am completely depressed.  However I am looking forward to shared stories and pictures during the week.  Why aren't I there I hear you all cry!... Finances! As usual I am beyond broke, one part time income apparently isn't enough to finance household bills, mortgage and Twilight jollies so something had to give; I personally thought no groceries for a month would cover it but I was 3 to 1 out-voted by hubs and kids who seemed to think being fed and having toilet paper was more important....tonight I find it hard to agree!

Well all that's left to do is attempt to put myself into a Pattinson induced coma until a pair of four year olds trample over my head trying to get into my bed in about ... oooo... 4.5 hours (gah!).  New Moon DVD on, laptop off, lights out and .....sweet dreams!